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Another benefit of dating at forty is that you have the confidence that comes with experience.

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Say out loud the first thing that comes to mind. Call it a sexual glow, or just plain sex appeal. While this self-work can take many forms from therapy to meditation, etc.

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I see a difference in how women in their forties walk into a room, the way they can make he turn and pulses race. When you flip it over, there will be one word on the back.

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Open your eyes. In contrast to Coral, though, Jennifer herself also identified with the word power.

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Dating can be both perplexing and hair-raising. For many of my single clients, examining and re-setting their fears and intentions around dating helps them to find enjoyment in it that they might not have felt before.

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The benefit of being guided by desire at forty, as opposed to twenty, is that you have more freedom, plus the wisdom of twenty more years of life to accompany you. Dating should be fun: The thrill of waking up next to a new lover—feeling their soft breath against your body—is fantastic at any age.

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Flip over the card. What you think, you project and, in turn, attract.

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I sometimes use word association techniques with clients to bring awareness to the role that perception plays in their dating life—it illuminates how vital it is to check in with yourself. For Coral, this revealed how polarized she was going into dating and relationships.

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Still, you might think, the on-again, off-again dating game is overwhelming—which is true, it can be, at any age. She felt manipulated to please her male partners, and felt overly needy herself.

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For clients like Coral and Jennifer and other clients like themreflecting on how they view themselves helps balance their approach to dating. Whereas more women in their twenties and thirties are looking for a partner to have children with, this becomes less the case as we get older. But it can be wildly exciting, too.

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Coral, forty-two, explained that dating had left her feeling abandoned. When I asked her to think of the word, woman? Our desires can drive us at every age if we let them.

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You may also like. Another client, Jennifer, age forty-six, described the people she was dating as shallow—players who valued looks over connection.

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Our drive for perfection can override our sense of self-worth, and obscure our desires, even to ourselves. Close your eyes.

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The first word that came to mind for her when I asked her to think of the word man was power.